Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle; now you have to think of something funny to write inside.Both you and the birthday boy/girl are sure to get a laugh or two from all of the funny ways to wish them “Happy Birthday!”Use these funny birthday wishes for your friend, family, acquaintance, or lover and make them laugh a little louder on their birthday.
- I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy Birthday!
- It’s your birthday? Let’s get up to some mischief!
- It’s OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.
- Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
- I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
- Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
- Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
- A wise man once said, “Forget about your past – you cannot change it.” I’d like to add: “Forget about your present – I didn’t get you one.”
- Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s smart, funny, and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.
- You’re how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.
- You know, they say that age is all in your mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.
- Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
- You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct!
- May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
- On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
- You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
- Well done – you have still been alive for several years!
- “You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!”
- If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
- Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
- Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night
- Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
- Congratulations on getting slightly older!
- Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
- It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
- “Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.”
- “Happy birthday! I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one, naked and screaming.”
- “On your birthday you might be thinking “Oh man I’m getting old”, but don’t worry. Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you won’t still be doing dumb stuff. You’ll just be doing it slower. Happy birthday!”
- You have been alive for so many years, and all you have gained in life is a big fat belly. That’s a big achievement for the loser. Happy Birthday!
- Happy birthday, love. I thought of getting you the best present ever. Sadly, I’m too big to fit in the gift box.
- “I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.”
- “Happy birthday! I think it’s great… How you used to be young.”
- “Happy Birthday! For your special day I made you a cake. BOOM YOU’RE A CAKE! You’re so very welcome.”
- “The best part of being over forty is that you did most your stupid stuff before the internet. Happy birthday!”
- “Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. Happy Birthday.”
- “A wise man once said, “Forget about your past, you cannot change it”. I’d like to add: “Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one”. Happy birthday!”
- “You’re older; you’re wiser; you’re sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents. Happy Birthday!”
- “May your birthday cake be moist, and may no one use that word to describe it.”
- “Happy birthday to one old lady who still knows how to party! You rock!”
- “Happy birthday to a lifelong friend! I can’t wait until we’re old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together!”
- “Let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night. Happy birthday!”
- “Your birthday is the perfect excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up!”
- “Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday queen.”
- Everyone grows old but not everyone can grow wise. Please don’t be sad, my friend. Not everyone needs wisdom too. Happy Birthday!
- Age is just a number, just like your salary. They keep increasing every year! So, why feel sad for one and happy for the other. Cheers to your birthday!
- Happy birthday to someone who is too sweeter than sugar and spicy than Mexican chili.
- There’s nothing to be worried about getting old. Look at you; you are old and still doing great. Happy Birthday dear oldy.
- Congratulations on reaching a new level in the game called life. Have a fun birthday!
- Blow me, says your lighted candle! Happy birthday buddy.
- Hope you will not get sad over the number of candles on your cake. Many happy returns of the day, my love.
- You are just as annoying as you were on day one. Stay the same and have a happy birthday!
- You have officially gotten past the teenage years. It’s time to be mature and stop expecting birthday gifts from people. Happy Birthday!
- You might be getting bigger, but sure as hell, your intelligence isn’t. Enjoy the birthday anyway.
- Happy Birthday! May you live to be old and toothless.
- Stop counting the candles on your birthday cake- you will get tired. Have a blast today.
- Forget the past, forget the future and please forget the present too as I did forget to get you one. But happy birthday, dear.
- I hope you enjoy your birthday just like when you were born in this world. Without clothes.
- Once in many years, people with great passion and brilliance are born into this world who aims at the greater things in life. And today one of them would like to wish you a very happy birthday.
- I was going to give you something awesome for your birthday, but they wouldn’t let me courier myself to you. Hence, Happy Birthday!
- I wish almighty embraces you with luck to follow up those dreams and also a bucket of water to wake you up from them.
- One more year of warming your butt on my couch. Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday. The older you’re getting, the more of a child you’re becoming. Grow up now, will you?
- I wish some people would stop wasting things. Just like you. You are wasting space on the earth and certainly wasting the time of others. Happy Birthday!
- You must be tired of blowing the candles off on your birthday! Jokes apart, Happy Birthday!
- Happy birthday buddy. Don’t you worry about getting so old. That was something that happened years ago.
- Happy birthday and welcome to the ’29 years old forever’ club!
- Happy birthday! I hope you get dope and happiness. Sorry, hope and happiness.
- Another year closer to getting those senior citizen seats on buses! Happy birthday.
- Another birthday comes by with more candles on your cake and less hairs on your head!
- Happy birthday man, and if someone calls you old, whack him with your walking stick.
- Take two pieces of cake, one in each hand and you’ll be on a balanced diet.
- Happy birthday dude. Enjoy another 365 days of an all-expense paid trip around the sun.
- Good luck getting a cake big enough to fit all those candles! Happy birthday buddy.
- Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
- Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
- Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me!
- Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!
- Hit a donkey with your foot and have a kick-ass birthday!
- Wishing the most beautiful and intelligent person I know a great day. That’s me. And to you a very happy birthday.
- Happy birthday gal, I am political enough to remember your birth date but to forget your age.
- At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!
- If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
- Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!
- As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two
- Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
- Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…
- If you look back through all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.
- Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!
- We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.
- Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!
- I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
- I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.
- Do you know how I always remember your birthday? Well, Facebook does the work for me. Anyways, HBD dear.
- There’s no shame in thinking like a teenage boy when you are old as the hills. Wishing you a Happy Birthday. May you live long!
- A man is as big as his imagination and as old as his age. True for you. Happy Birthday. I’m glad that you still have your teeth.
- Another birthday of yours! It seems almost as if you’ve been polluting the earth forever.
- Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?
- Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!
- Remember that age is just a number… just a really, REALLY high one in your case!
- Please get a confetti cake for your birthday. Since you are no fun, at least the cake should be.
- Happy birthday, don’t be sad. At least you are not as old as you are going to be the next year. Be happy thinking about that!
- You have been here for a long time, perhaps since the age of the cave people. No wonder why you are so backdated. Happy Birthday!
- It’s a very good day to identify all the liars around you. Don’t get fooled by the one that tells you you are still young and beautiful. Happy Bi
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